Ruminations
by Higuchimon
Summary: I am his greatest tool, his most closely kept companion. The Digimon Kaiser needs me more than anyone or anything else. It will always be so. What would he be without me, without his whip?


_**Legal Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters presented here and this is done only for entertainment purposes.   
**Title:** Ruminations   
**Focus:** Ken's whip. Yes, you read that correctly.   
**Rated:** R   
**Season/Timeline:** Digimon Adventure 02   
**Summary:** That whip was the Kaiser's greatest tool. What does it think about things?_

One moment I wasn't there, the next I was. _He_ wanted me to be, and so I was. I'm not sure if he thought specifically about me, or if he simply wanted me in the deepest part of his mind, but regardless, he has nothing he doesn't want, and since he has me, he wants me. I am the part of his equipment that he wants and loves the most, that which he _needs_ the most. I am closer to him than the device that lets him travel between the worlds or the rings that cause all things to obey him. I am the part that denotes his mastery of this world. 

He loves me, I know it. He caresses me often. Sometimes he even...dare I say it...plays with me. I can go anywhere with him, except that other world he goes to during the day. But every time he's here, I'm on his hip. Very close to territory I would find very interesting if I were human. But sometimes I think I find it interesting anyway. 

I know it's not usual for something like me to be aware like I am, but this _is_ the Digital World, after all. From what I can see, travelling with him constantly, there have been far stranger things than myself. That's something else that proves how much he needs me: wherever he goes, I am here with him. 

The way he pulls on me sometime when he's frustrated, or sometimes even particularly pleased..._that_ is what pure eroticism is all about! He's absolutely wonderful about it. Then there are the times when he's so upset about something he just _bites_ me...if I could, I'd drool. It feels so good, all those delicious hard teeth biting right into me, and I think if I strain in just the right way I can feel his small pink tongue...ohhh....sometimes he even sucks on me. Those are the _best_ times. The absolute best. 

I definitely am in love with my master. And _such_ a master he is, too. Strong and commanding, not taking any flak from anyone about _anything_. When someone offends him, he quickly takes them to task, like he did with that spiky redheaded Chosen Child. Master enjoyed seeing him grovel, and so did I. I just wish that Master would let me have a taste of him. I'm certain his blood wouldn't be _quite_ as sweet as that of the Digimon I bite into regularly, but variety _is_ the spice of existence after all. One cannot live by Digimon blood alone. 

Then again, in the truest sense of the word, I _don't_ live. I just exist. Living is something that ...living things do. Like humans. Not Digimon, of course, my master is completely right about _that_. This is a game, and I will see to it that he wins. I do like the taste of their blood on my end, though. I can exist without blood, I just find my greatest fulfillment when I'm performing the function I came into being for: beating those who disagree with my master in to a bloody pulp. 

Really, what _else_ would he possess that so fully signifies his superiority? Those silly bladed weapons, like knives and swords? Those are tools of conquest, and he doesn't need them. He is not _conquering_; he already rules this world. He just has to get the message to all of the denizens of it. 

Rather sadly, once that happens, I'm going to be out of a job. Unless of course, he takes pleasure in beating them to make certain they don't forget. Or I could be reduced to a mere symbol of the power, instead of the cracking ring of authority that I am now. That wouldn't be _so_ bad, since I'd still be hanging with him, but it wouldn't be as much fun as it is now. 

I try to remember at times what it was like before him, but since there _was_ no before him, it's impossible. From what I have learned since coming into being, he simply wanted a uniform and a weapon that would reflect his mastery of this world, and thus here I am. Designed by his will, called into being by his desires. A lot of creatures might think they were made for him, but I _know_ I was. 

Creatures like that pathetic Wormmon. I take pleasure in beating him for my master a thousand times a day. I'd do it even more if the Kaiser wanted me to. It's just _fun_ to open up his skin and drink deeply of his blood. We have to be careful, though. Digimon heal fast, and Wormmon is useful to my master, so I can't bite in as much as I'd love to. But the day will come when the Kaiser has _much_ more useful servants and I can spend as much time as Master will permit flogging the hideous thing into data bits. I can hardly wait for it. It will be fantastic. It's much more likely than Master just letting me be a symbol. He loves me, and what I represent _far_ too much for that. 

Quite often I'm also my master's harbinger. Digimon know when they hear me cracking swiftly through the air that the Kaiser is coming, and the best thing to do is hide, or give in. I speak for him to everyone he outranks and outclasses: and that's everyone. Of course, the language I speak so very eloquently is _pain_. It's my native tongue, so to speak. Everything and anything understands it, even if they don't speak it quite well. I do make myself understood, though. It's not that hard. Even something as unthinking as a Numemon realizes what I mean when I speak my loudest. 

Sadly, I can really only speak when the Kaiser wants me to. It would be nice if I were capable of leaping forth and striking whenever _I_ wanted to, but I can't. I wonder if I could somehow convey to Master that I'd like to be able to do that. He manipulated the Evil Rings into the Evil Spirals, perhaps he could somehow grant me a way to express the intelligence that resides in me. 

Then again, I have been coming to the conclusion that I do not have intelligence in the way that most things of the Digital World do. What I have is a reflection of _him._ His darkest aspects, his evil and twisted nature, his sadistic joys and pleasures, all of those are what make me what I am. I like the thought of that. It makes me feel so much closer to him, because I _am_ him. 

It can be very confusing being me sometimes. I don't know if I'm a separate, discrete individual or not. Some days I feel as if I am, some days I don't. These seem to be connected to days when the Kaiser is around or not. I'm not entirely sure why, but I'm the only piece of his equipment that he ever removes. He never even takes his glasses off, even when he's in the depths of the fortress, where he never needs them anyway. Sometimes he'll take me off and put me where he can see me and just _stare_ at me. I wish I could read his mind then. I don't think I have to, though. The way he stares at me, the way his hand goes up and down the shaft, I _know_ what he's thinking. Because I'm thinking the same thing. I'm not going to _share_ it with you, of course. That's private between me and my Master. 

Then sometimes he toys with my tip a little. I heard him wondering once if he should put a little coating of metal on the very end. That would be something interesting, I think. But he never does. I'd like to be a spiked whip. I could cause a lot more pain that way. But this way is fun too. 

I know he's never going to get rid of me, that's one thing I'm certain of. He loves what he does too much. Even when he still lived in the world of humans regularly, and only made small visits here, he reached for me first when he came. Wormmon was ignored, the computers and the Digimon could wait...he had to play with _me_ first. I loved it. I still do. 

I didn't like it when he wasn't here. I only exist when the Kaiser does, not when he was in that other world, so there were long periods of time when I was simply _not_. I remember the feeling of not being, but while I wasn't, I didn't remember being. I don't think that made a great deal of sense, but I just don't know any other way to say it. At least I don't have to worry about that now, with the Kaiser living here permanently. I'm around all the time. I like that. The Kaiser does as well, I'm sure. 

There are times when I wonder if the Kaiser will live forever, and if so, will he ever try to replace me? Humans grow, I know, and he might want a longer whip, or a better whip. Maybe one of those nice ones with multiple lashes on the very end would suit him. Then again, he could make _me_ like that. I wouldn't mind getting upgraded to suit his pleasures. It might be nice to be something different. But I'm not sure if I want to be _dissolved_. The thought of no longer existing in any kind of way is as terrifying to me as I think the whole concept of 'death' is to humans. I don't know much about death, really, just things I heard the Kaiser muttering about in his sleep. He doesn't lay down that often, but when he does I get put on a table next to his bed, so I can see and hear him very well. He was thrashing about and calling out a word I didn't recognize. I know it wasn't anything he's ever said while he was awake. It was something like 'Osamu'. I'm not entirely certain just what that means, but it seemed to be very important to him, at least then. He hasn't mentioned it since, so I suppose it's not all _that_ great. 

The more things that happen, though, the more I'm convinced that we'll both be around forever, me and the Kaiser. He needs me to show those silly Chosen Children that _he_ is the one and only true master of the Digital World. He needs me to prove to the Digimon that _**he**_ is the ruler that this place will have, no matter what. It's not as if they can do anything about it. It's a game, and not only is he the supreme grand master of it, he's the only one who has a chance of winning. How could he not when he has _me_? 

Those brats don't seem to realize this, however. I think they'll learn differently once they see this blond brat with the marks of _me_ on him. He tastes so delicious as I bite into his cheek and rip open the skin. Who needs multiple lashes or a coating of metal? This is perfect just as it is. Now he's going to cower down and realize just how unstoppable... 

Wait. Something's going wrong here. This isn't what's supposed to happen. He's just...standing there. No, worse! He's attacking my master! That's not right! Master is _down_! That bastard is on top of him! Release him! Get your filthy hands off of him! That's an order! 

But he can't hear me. He _hurts_ the Kaiser. There are bruises on that fair flesh now, and a look in his eyes that I have never seen before. It just looks wrong. The Kaiser is cool, unflappable, he cannot be disturbed by this _insect_. That's how it's always been and how it must always be. How dare this...this _Takashi_ change that! If I could, I would slither after him and teach him a lesson. 

Something is going on here that is just so wrong. But the Kaiser will put it all to rights, I have no doubt of it. His greatest creation will see to it. His _true_ partner, much more so than the helpless caterpillar, will show the Chosen Chumps that he is not to be toyed with. 

I hang by his side, eager for action, tasting deeply of Wormmon's blood when I have the chance. I lap it up, letting it soak into my tip, enjoying it. It tastes even sweeter this time than all the other times before. I'm not sure why, it just does. I hope this trend continues. I could develop a real sweet lash. Wormmon understands his place, after all this time. He knows that the Kaiser is no one to be... 

No. This really isn't happening. It just _can't_ be! What madness has possessed this world? Wormmon has _turned_ on his master! The Kaiser is _on the ground_! 

If I knew how to dream, I would say this was a nightmare. But it's worse than one of those. It's everything I ever believed would never happen _happening_. The Chosen do not fear my crack. The Digimon that my master crafted with all of his wisdom and his power has been blown away to dust, and it's all the fault of that traitorous _insect_ Wormmon! I'll rip his hide from him, and the master will find a way to keep him alive when I do it! He'll never forgive this treachery! 

Oh, no...what _else_ can possibly go wrong today? The master is...throwing me away? I land in the sand, and I can see him throwing away the other marks of his dominance away. His glasses. His cape. The gloves. All the rest of it vanishes, and his hair changes from those beautiful, wonderful spikes into something plain and ordinary. He's wearing _gray_. It looks so horrible on him, not at all like his beautiful Kaiser royal garments. 

I can't believe what's going on. This is just so _**wrong**_. He's denying that it's a game? What else _could_ it be? Master, Master, Digimon Kaiser, _Ken-chan_, don't listen to them! They're just jealous of your power and your greatness! You know that! They aren't good enough to wash your boots, much less serve you! Take me up again! Use your power! Defeat them, destroy them! 

Something else is going on. I can't be sure; I'm not where I can see things. I've been forgotten, abandoned. But I can still feel the Kaiser, and his agony can't be described in words. He's hurting because Wormmon gave his life to defeat him? I don't understand. Why should that matter? He was just something to be used, a thing to be tossed aside when it can't be used any longer. Why is that so sad? What am I missing here? 

But then I feel _it_. Something that makes the power of the Kaiser simply fade in comparison. It's like a rising tide of energy, and it's washing away everything in the Kaiser that makes him my lord and master, and the undisputed ruler of the Digital World. I see it now. I know it for what it is. If I dreamed, I would have had nightmares of it, especially if I had ever had any real indications of just how strong it is. 

It is the Crest of Kindness. As it touches the Kaiser...no, it is Ken. Ichijouji Ken, the Kaiser is gone in that moment. I can feel myself fading at the same time. I lasted the longest, I don't know why. But it's over with. 

The Kaiser loved me. I know it. If he should ever return, then so will I. I am his, and always will be. This is the end. 

I hate you, Ichijouji Ken. I hate you and your Crest of Kindness. I will find a way for revenge. Somehow. 

Some-- 

**The End**


End file.
